Letting Go As A Leadership Strategy

This past year asked me to get honest with myself about what I believed leadership required.

For most of my career — especially working in a military environment — my definition of success was shaped by urgency, achievement, and constant motion. I believed impact came from working harder, moving faster, and always reaching for the next milestone. Striving wasn’t just encouraged; it was the standard.

What I learned this year challenged that belief entirely:

Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.

Redefining What Leadership Requires

For a long time, I equated effort with effectiveness. If I was busy, I must be contributing. If I was stretched, I must be growing. But eventually, that equation stopped holding up — not because I wasn’t capable, but because the cost was too high.

Leadership, I’ve learned, isn’t measured by how much you carry. It’s measured by what you choose to carry — and what you intentionally put down.

This year, I began practicing leadership through refusal.

Three Things I Chose to Say No To

1. The “Safe” 9–5 Path

Since leaving the Canadian Armed Forces in July, I turned down multiple opportunities to step back into traditional 9–5 roles within large institutions. For a long time, that structure represented legitimacy and security. It was familiar. Respected. Safe.

But those roles would have placed my time, energy, and values in systems that no longer aligned with the kind of work — or leadership — I want to practice.

Walking away wasn’t reckless.
It was a decision to reclaim authorship over my work and my life.

2. Dimming My Value to Make Others Comfortable

This was a quieter habit, but a deeply ingrained one.

In rooms where I was the only woman, or the only logistician, I often softened my accomplishments. I edited my confidence. I made myself smaller to maintain ease.

This year, I stopped doing that.

Naming my value clearly didn’t just strengthen my business — it strengthened my sense of self. Letting go of this pattern was a commitment to no longer shrinking to fit environments that need to expand.

3. Being Universally Available

I also stopped treating constant availability as generosity.

Always being “on” drained my focus, eroded my boundaries, and kept me in a reactive state. Saying no to perpetual accessibility created space — not just in my calendar, but in my thinking.

And in that space, something unexpected happened:
my presence deepened.

With clients. With family. With myself.

What Shifted When I Let Go

Letting go reshaped everything.

I stopped chasing every opportunity and began focusing on what truly mattered. I spoke about my work without apology. I found a rhythm between work and life that I had been searching for for years.

The most profound shift was spaciousness.

Spaciousness to think.
Spaciousness to lead.
Spaciousness to live.

That space made my work better, my relationships richer, and my leadership more intentional. Urgency gave way to clarity.

What I’m Making Space for Next

Looking ahead, I’m protecting two things above all else: intentions and boundaries.

I want the work I say yes to to align with my mission — not just my momentum. I want decisions rooted in clarity, not habit. And I want to continue designing a leadership practice that reflects depth, not busyness.

Letting go wasn’t loss.

It was design.

Closing Reflection

Growth is not always about adding more.

Sometimes, leadership requires subtraction.

What is one thing you’re choosing to release before next year begins?